Cautious Optimism

So, my life has been somewhat delayed. While most people foray into the world of apartment dwelling during their undergraduate experience, or even right after highschool, I am just now experiencing this event. Why I have ever glamorized this decision, I will never know.  Even though it is definitely enjoyable, there are times when I realize that while in age, this was an appropriate step for me, financially I was not ready. I feel like my roommates think that I'm a deadbeat because I have yet to really invest myself in purchasing items for the apt. It sucks because I really want to, but I just haven't been able to save. This all started out with the spring break trip that I shouldn't have taken; then I didn't work for the ENTIRE month of April; then I still had to pay for my entire life; then once I started working and making a bunch of money I still had to pay for my life; then I had to get my car fixed and paid for it to get towed; then I have to pay all these first month things while getting paid significantly less than my roommates.  Once such roommate that I am sharing a bathroom with decided to buy all this stuff from Target (not the cheapest place in the world) and now wants me to split the price of it with her. I don't understand why she just wouldn't just take it all when she moves out???? Thoughts? Also, if we are going to split hairs about who is paying for what then I maintain that we should keep all receipts for items that will be split among the three of us so that no one is cheated out of any finances. $35.00 may not seem like a lot to her, but to me, it's a lot right now.  I'll be so glad when I am able to afford my apartment without having to struggle at Panera. It's unreal to me that in a few short months all my financial woes will be solved by my new position at the Honors College and (sadly enough, but not for right now) my student loans. So until that beautiful time when my residual check decides to make its way to my bank, I will be destined to be the typical broke college student that for some reason I dreamed of being.

Also, not to mention that I don't really know one of my roommates that well.  Even though she seems really nice & clean, I just don't know her yet. I'm not exactly sure that I thought this whole living arrangement thing through. I feel like I could have been working all summer to save for a move that should be happening within the next two weeks instead of happening at the end of June. I could have been living with my lovable sister in a nice little two bedroom apartment somewhere happily enjoying life.

I think that this will definitely be a long year, but hopefully it won't be too difficult. I love this apartment, and the fees are definitely reasonable but I just wish that we had more space. The two of them have so much stuff that I can't really see the point in grocery shopping because there would be no space for all my stuff. I definitely only for see this living experience to last a year. But who knows, I say all this now and I may completely change my mind and love the situation. For now, I remain cautiously optimistic.