I need a calm. I recently discovered a tumblr kept by a girl that I used to work with. In looking at all the pages I find myself newly inspired to achieve peace in my life. This girl seems to have it all; and freely admits that her life isn't perfect but that she finds ways to be happy everyday. She is happily married, has her own business, a home, great family and friends, and wants nothing more than those things. She is completely grateful for all that has happened to her (good or bad) and readily preaches that daily. I tend to spend so much time cataloging things I think are wrong, while ignoring things that are right and go well. Even though it's August, I want to take a chance to make a new year's resolution of sorts (or more appropriately labeled life changes).
1. I will be gracious and grateful for all that I have been given up until this point in my life.
While I'm not exactly sure what beliefs I have about religion and the realm outside of Earth, I do believe in a higher power. I believe that this higher power is the guiding force of fortune and fate; my life is attributed to this force. Without the skills that I have been given, none of what I have accomplished up to now would have been possible, so I want to make sure to express gratitude.
2. I will take the time to find out why I become so angry and stressed, and try to avoid it.
I spend much of my time in pressure-filled situations and tend to let those situations negatively affect my mood. Very seldom do I ever leave a negative event in the moment; I tend to carry it on with me for as long as I see fit (typically, unhealthily until something else occupies its space in my mind). I always let things bother me way more than they should either because I don't speak my mind to begin with or I worry too much about things that I can't control. I feel the most calm when I know the whys (even if they hurt my feelings). I will try to be more forward about my feelings so that I am better able to leave things in the past.
3. I will STOP comparing my life to the lives of others.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I spend so much time wanting to have what others have; wanting a relationship, wanting a good paying job, wanting a nicer car, wanting more financial stability, wanting to be more crafty; essentially, wanting to just be different than who I am. I am this way for a reason, I just need to find situations that allow me to exceed.
4. I will EMBRACE being me.
Not to toot my own horn, but I'm the only person that can be me. It's a difficult job that many people have told me that they want, and there have been plenty of days when I have wanted to say, "sure go ahead, give me some time off." But...that would not be true to me. I am slowly learning that the beauty of my twenties is to have the time to figure out who I am. I have no children; the only time commitments on my plate are school and my graduate assistantship; I have a great family (annoying as they may be sometime) who support me in ALL that I do; while only a few, I have friends that have stood the test of time; I have the freedom to move about and do as I please; I have no one to be emotionally responsible for. I have all these opportunities to figure out where my passion lies and to really immerse myself in something that matters without feeling selfish with my time. I have to embrace it.
I can't wait to embark upon this journey tomorrow. I am off for the day; I can either go to the pool or watch WKU football players practice with good friends. I will begin keeping a daily list of things that I am grateful for to keep me sane and humble. I will begin keeping a list of things that I want to accomplish or achieve and timelines for those goals. I will spend the day just enjoying life and the fact that I have a good one to live.
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