Dun-Dun-Dun...
I had the final escapade with my latest relationship failure. The sense of finality of it all at first overwhelmed me. However, after spending time really reevaluating everything that happened between us in the past few months, I decided that it was a necessary step to be taken. Even though I saw in him a potential partner, that was not the case in his eyes. He didn't openly treat me poorly, but he did treat me poorly nonetheless. I told myself that when I found a new relationship I wanted honesty and respect first and foremost; that was not what I got. Had he been truly someone respectful, he would have told me (without me having to ask) that he didn't want a relationship with me. However, I'm guessing that he was so scared at the prospect of losing me in other ways that he didn't want to tell me. That is the sign of a coward, not something that I want. I want someone who will truly be honest with me, even too honest at times. I need someone who truly appreciates me and respect me enough to know that if he doesn't want to be with me, then saying that early on is the best bet. I know this takes time, and everything that has happened, has made me realize that while I may be ready for it, most guys my age aren't.
So patient I will be.
In other news, my ex-flame is now apparently moving back to town. How exciting!! Except not really. It's like I get rid of one in a good manner, with some sort of closure; then I get another one on my back. While yes I can admit that I am probably overreacting, it still is unsettling.
In other news, I am now completing this huge transition. I have begun my new job, my room is semi-starting to come together, I have entered a man-free period in my life; the only thing left for me to do is start school.
I keep finding that I am always a part of young organizations; especially at my new position with the Honors College. I feel as if this is my calling in life. I am always involved in the major shaping of some type of organization, and that to me is really inspiring (maybe stating that those are the type of positions I seek out for myself subconsciously). I just wonder what that signifies for my future as far as a potential position goes.
I think that this time signifies a time for me to embrace relaxation. I do still want to be involved with my chapter, with extracurriculars in school, and in school, but nowhere near the point that I was during undergrad. While yes my resume is impressive, I want to allow myself to have more me time.
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